Tag Archives: Humour

Aging gracefully

I dont know when it first started
I’m unsure when it began
But the legs I use are not my own
They belong to a much older man.

These can’t walk fast as I used to
I’m not sure when they last ran
They complain when I climb the stairs
And grumble going down again.

The stiff knees click
And the old ankles crack
I think aging is taking over
Cause now I feel it in my back!

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Poor Clown

 

Rain rain tumbling down

Down my neck and to the ground

Hope so much as not to drown

But it causes me to frown.

 

It turns trees and grass

To green from brown

And roads become wet

All over  town

 

Wet is the queen’s hair

And her glittering crown

Lucky she has a raincoat

Over her evening gown

 

At the circus there is a clown

Whose makeup is primarily brown

It made him famous

He is one of renown

But it made children want to frown

Poor clown

sad clown

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The Great Mayor: Weekend writing prompt

 

I am the greatest Mayor of all time. I want to make this city great again. We will build a wall around the city to keep out criminals. I am the most popular mayor of all time. There’s no-one more popular. Look I could stand in the middle of the street and shoot someone, and people would still elect me, that’s how popular I am.

And so, the hubris went on. People actually believed the stuff that spewed from his mouth. Until, that is, his batteries started failing and one of his strings broke.

Image result for donald trump cartoon

thanks to Sammi Scribbles for the inspiration.

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Donald Trump’s Dog

If Donald Trump had a dog, would it be called a Trump-pet?

many thanks to Playbuzz and Boredpanda for the image.

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Friday Fictioneers: Leave it to the imagination

PHOTO PROMPT - © C. Hase

The fiction I have written for this prompt is short. It may be taken as humorous, but what if it were not?

“He got away again didn’t he?”

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Out of the mouths of babes

The Bible According to Kids
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The seventh commandment is “Thou shalt not admit adultery”. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption. St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained that “Man does not live by sweat alone”. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
 

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Why people say hi.

Why to people say hi?

Because they can’t spell hello, hallo,hullo, oh heck…hi

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New weight loss plan.

I have a new weight loss idea that is sure to work. Wanna hear it? Glad you asked.
Become a full time writer, photographer and artist. You can’t afford to eat so will surely lose weight. I have lost 12kg in 6 months.
See, it works!

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Flowers found in Sydney

See, even the roses are gay friendly

syd b&w 053 syd b&w 054

syd b&w 056 syd b&w 057

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The things you see

These are some of the Characters you see every day on the streets and malls in Sydney

syd b&w 189 syd b&w 095 syd b&w 026

Bob Marley, the man with the golden…, and really, I don’t know what to make of the silver lady.

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