Category Archives: VI Peer review

Here you will find the peer reviews that I completed of some of my learned colleagues work. I must say we have some really talented writers and thinkers in the class. Please follow the review back to the original article.

Peer Review, Jesse

https://ocsanj.wordpress.com/2016/10/07/week-9-religion-art-and-white-exploring-meaning-in-confusion/

Jesse,
Thanks for this post. You inspired me to again look at the video, which before I had only glanced over. I took something different from the interview. As a result, I have written the following blog. https://s00156364.wordpress.com/2016/10/25/purity-patrick-white-and-brett-whiteley/
Thanks again.
Dave

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Peer Review Sarasaladino

https://sarasaladino.wordpress.com/2016/10/26/summative-entry-3/

How interesting that you found Riders in the Chariot bland but enjoyed Babylon more.
I find the opposite is true for me. Riders has a natural progression and White’s use of Language makes me smile at times and be incredibly sad in others.
I think I get too analytical when I read Babylon. I am always looking for hidden meaning instead of just enjoying the book.
As I reread both for our exam, I shall try to put analysis aside and just read them.
Thanks for this post.
Dave

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Peer Review Mahdi

https://mahdihussain94.wordpress.com/2016/09/19/week-7-engl329-humanity/

Hey Mahdi

The story does represent society today and their caution towards those of an Islamic faith. However I think it needs some work in descriptions.
How old is the man? Does he have the stereotypical black beard or does he have perhaps a red or brown beard?
There is no mention of a bag until he reaches the homeless man. What type of bag is it? How do we know the man is homeless? Is he perhaps unkempt with shaggy grey hair that is matted, looking as though he has dreadlocks, not by choice but by his inability to wash his hair.

A writer needs to think of these things.I once wrote a story in which a young girl hands her father (who is paralysed in a hospital bed) a bunch of flowers. The story was good and won an award for literature, but when I read it to a famous novelist, she asked “what type of flowers were they?”
I said that it didn’t really matter.
She said, ” Oh but it does. You are trying to create a picture in my mind and I need to know. It’s your job as the writer to know”.
So now I pass her wisdom to you my friend.

Dave

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Peer Review: Audrey

https://barefootfairy42.wordpress.com/2016/09/08/finally-some-insanity-around-here/

Audrey, thanks for sharing your thoughts on our Mr Blake. I find your claim to “understand his dark humour” interesting. When I first thought I understood it, he changed his style from Sarcasm to deep truth. I think maybe that Mr Blake had periods of great depression. These occurred straight after a vision or indeed while he was still in it.
You write with great style and your descriptions are wonderful. I can’t wait to read some of your creative blogs to see what you come up with.
Dave

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Peer Review: Sara

https://sarasaladino.wordpress.com/2016/08/29/week-4-blog-2-3/

Something that just occurred to me. Blakes Use of the second person “Thee” when speaking of the Tyger infers that he knew the Tyger more personally than one would normally refer to a tyger. Or was it just the language of the time? Is it in fact a desire expressed when he spoke of the Tyger as Thee. Intriguing.

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Peer Review Alex

https://s00149741.wordpress.com/2016/08/28/blog-post-1-creative/

Great poem Alex. Could you fix the typo that says “sweat” instead of sweet. The anger we feel at our pets is only because they will not conform to our will. though when we sometimes rebel against authority we ask it to be applauded. I guess it depends on perspective. See through your puppy’s eye. he finally is allowed to run free, to experience life to the full and you are trying to stifle his freedom.
Well done.

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Peer Review: Manizha Lalee

https://manizhalalee.wordpress.com/2016/08/21/blog-1/

Even though this blog is not part of Visionary Imagination, Manizha is a student at ACU and deserves our encouragement for her well written blog.

Please read Manizha’s blog and comment as I have done.

I adored looking at clouds, both as a child and as an adult caring for children. It can be a special bonding time between adult and child.

Here is a story I wrote about that.
https://s00156364.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/one-afternoon/

Of course, we do need to “Grow Up”, Peter Pan is just a story. We become responsible not only for our own lives but lives of those around us, ones we love and children of our own. But we always need to remember the reason we are working. We work so we can enjoy leisure time without having to worry about whether we have enough money to survive. The trick is work/life balance. I have found that if we live simply, sometimes we don’t need to work full time. You are able to take time off to smell the roses, or look for animals in the clouds.

My father, who was an aeronautical engineer, brought a heater home when I was a child. I asked where he got it from. He told me that they parked the helicopter on a cloud and it was just sitting there so he brought it home. He really was a funny man, even if I didn’t appreciate his humour until I had grown up myself. I took his word as truth, on this occasion and many more; only to find out years later, that he was just joking.

My father has passed away now, and sometimes I even look to the clouds and imagine him up there. You often don’t know what you will miss until it is gone.

Dave

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