Peer Review Mahdi

Hey Mahdi

The story does represent society today and their caution towards those of an Islamic faith. However I think it needs some work in descriptions.
How old is the man? Does he have the stereotypical black beard or does he have perhaps a red or brown beard?
There is no mention of a bag until he reaches the homeless man. What type of bag is it? How do we know the man is homeless? Is he perhaps unkempt with shaggy grey hair that is matted, looking as though he has dreadlocks, not by choice but by his inability to wash his hair.

A writer needs to think of these things.I once wrote a story in which a young girl hands her father (who is paralysed in a hospital bed) a bunch of flowers. The story was good and won an award for literature, but when I read it to a famous novelist, she asked “what type of flowers were they?”
I said that it didn’t really matter.
She said, ” Oh but it does. You are trying to create a picture in my mind and I need to know. It’s your job as the writer to know”.
So now I pass her wisdom to you my friend.


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Filed under VI Peer review, Visionary Imagination

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