Look closely

crook“Why did the artist choose to put the hourglass on an angle?”

“To show that time can move slowly when the axis is tilted, when things are a bit… lopsided” Barnabas answered.

When Shanaz looked at the glass she saw something different.  She saw a world quite unlike the one with which she was a part. It was a world of time past. She saw people and strange creatures that walked on all fours, swam in the dirty water or flew in the smoke filled air. All the creatures gone now, extinct.

She shook her head and thought of how stupid people were back then. The class had gone ahead. Shanaz hurried to catch up.

This picture is accompanying Brave New World, by Jeff Wayne, on the War of the Worlds album

115 words, sorry      ——————————————————-

I had written so much more and had to cut a lot out. I would like to develop this into a longer story where in the top half of the glass, she saw the world past, and the bottom half the future, where time was rushing to, like the sand to the bottom of the glass. Thanks for the wonderful photo prompt Sandra Crook.

 

 

 

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18 Comments

Filed under short stories

18 responses to “Look closely

  1. Dear Dave,

    Quite a story. Well done. (You might be surprised where you could cut those fifteen extra words and not effect the story. 😉 )

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. This is so beautiful, I like where your imagination took us.

  3. I like the way you depict people behaving pretty normally all those years in the future.

  4. It does feel like there’s something missing – I couldn’t work out why she thought that people were stupid back then, but possibly this was in your longer version. Nice idea for a story.

  5. I like the concept that you envisioned and think it would bear some interesting fruit should you choose to flesh this story out. Some stories just don’t breathe well within the confines of flash fiction. I look forward to seeing what you might do with this. Nicely done.

  6. Really interesting idea – Would like to read a longer version.

  7. I really resonated with how you tied it back to the image from War of the worlds… somehow I always think there is an unrealistic image of the future in the poor military man’s dream…

  8. I wonder what she would have seen in the future? Even her name seems futuristic.. 🙂

  9. Well-woven words create a vivid picture.

  10. My first thought on the prompt was similar, I did not stick with it for the same reason you gave. You did it quite well.

  11. This is a great concept, wonderful for a longer story. I love how the teenager thinks about people from the past as being stupid, don’t all teenagers think that?

  12. Well told! I hope you do develop this further.. it would make a great story!

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